DAMN LOL I wasn't expecting this many replies!!
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Originally Posted by Nkc
I hear they're working on something called a No Virgins Left Behind Act... The act is mainly targeted at E9x drivers over the age of 20 that are still in possession of their V-card. Apparently these E9x drivers are the highest risk for mass murders (don't ask me why). So here's how it works. A bunch of sexually frustrated and desperate divorced women volunteer as tribute to those described above. Their job is to have sex with these virgin men/boys, demonstrate a fake orgasm, complain about their past sexual experiences, and lastly, exaggeratedly compliment these men/boys on how well they've performed. 1 less mass murder.
I think you've just been NVLB'ed. French kissing optional.
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LOL I haven't reached the point of wanting to kill people, and I knew right from the get-go that it was my own damn fault vs. that retarded gunman that sits at home and expects women to knock on his door and sit on his cock. I knew I had confidence issues ever since I had a perfect woman fall through my hands...
Gorgeous as hell, very friendly and could talk intelligently about anything... But I approached her the wrong way and later learned that my way of being had a bad vibe to it... If I knew then what I knew now, she'd be with me instead of some ugly, bald jackass... Not to mention I've lived paycheck-to-paycheck for most of my working life and didn't even have money to get out of the house sometimes, so most of the time I just bowed out until I was more financially secure.
But I will say this: Instead of sitting in an E90 and wondering "where da bitchez at", My E90 got me more ass than a '91 Buick Century (AKA more effective than a condom), '04 Nissan Sentra (how am I supposed to "holla" when I had to tow this POS all the time?), '99 Toyota Solara and '05 Dodge Dakota COMBINED... 2 girls while I have the E90 vs. 1 with the Dakota and zero for the others
Also, there's a difference between virgin by choice (e.g. religion or personal ethics) and someone who wants it to happen but can't for the life of him. As I was the latter... I hate to sound nerdy but I actually read up and studied about sex since 1. If you tell a girl you're a late-aged virgin, your chances of it actually happening will diminish and 2. I didn't want to seem awkward when it finally happened and have a dead giveaway. With that, I ravaged my first-timer like a champ, not to mention with learning how to tell if a woman is faking it, I'm proud to report that no girl has under my watch
... Also, here's the most awkward thing: She still lived with him after the divorce, so I actually met Lazy-ass' ex-husband. If he's 31, still lives with his parents even before/during/after marriage and has sci-fi posters and figurines, her story checks out in my opinion
Quote:
Originally Posted by FwdFtl
Considering you're no longer with this woman and based on what you're saying, it sounds like if I boned her one good time, I could make her my slave for life. They don't call me black hammer for nothing.
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Then you'll dump her next week when you find out she doesn't speak one word of English and can't even make a sandwich
... Or in my case, when I had a job that started at 3:30 AM and after only sleeping 12 hours across 4 days when I had a bunch of emergencies, I was still the one that had to cook HER lazy-ass dinner once! In fact with friends, I don't use terms or endearment or her name... I just call her "Lazy-ass"
Quote:
Originally Posted by bimmerfrk
pics of divorced chick who got her first orgasm from a virgin or it didn't happen....
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Are spy shots OK? She didn't want me to take pics.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billup
Debatable. Late bloomers are sometimes more socially awkward. Women are attracted to confidence, not shyness (well, some are..., the shy ones).
Words to live by; Poke and run, & put it in her bum. Don't want any accidental children or the girl thinking you actually like her. Huge deal breaker. Laugh in her face after and TELL HER you will NOT call her tomorrow.
She'll call immediately. It's fool proof.
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Great words...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nkc
Proud of you for not shooting up a whole bunch of college girls. 27 years is a very long time to hold that load. Now that you know what you're doing, use that confidence and catch up for the 10+ years of blue balls. Go get em tiger. |
Thanks!