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Great song choice...what is it?
As for the video I would tell you to work on consistency. The white balance between some of the scenes varies pretty drastically. Also the slider shots need some working on, not so smooth, and some of the takes keep running after the sliding has stopped. Don't forget that the slider doesn't only have to work left to right or right to left, but can also be used to pull into a subject or pull out of a subject. I would tell you for your next attempt to try one during day time as that will gave you more light to play with and allow you to be a little more versatile and creative. Overall great attempt for your first try. I would also tell you to forget about final cut and consider adobe premier instead.
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