Sharted...

samwoo2go · 08-17-2010, 07:23 PM

I just sharted right now, for the 1st time ever. Not the proudest moment of my life.
I had some heavy drinking last night and ate some chili for lunch today. I was sitting in front of the computer and felt an explosive fart coming. You know those that charges up like a jet turbine and explode out of your ass like a air bazooka gun? Ya 1 of those, and I love those, cuz it feels good.

So I got my ass all half raised and ready for the launch and fucking BOOM...misfire...misfire...it felt like my ass just barfed. fucking huge amounts of doo doo all over my shorts, balls, thighs, it fucking sucks.

I just got done cleaning up, just thought I come on here to let you guys know what my experience was for my first shart.

Go vote on the poll, I made it private, so you can vote honestly.

How many of you have ever sharted?

m3pare · 08-17-2010, 07:25 PM

LOL samwoo2go delivers again

DougLikesBMW · 08-17-2010, 07:30 PM

Lol who hasn't sharted? I have a couple times, when I was younger, but nothing as big or disgusting as yours rofl. Had a few other close calls though.

Those hot air farts always worry me. Man that is fucking sick, on your balls and thighs, good god.

Kroy · 08-17-2010, 07:40 PM

immiketoo · 08-17-2010, 07:51 PM

OK, on a related topic, have you ever noticed the incredible amount of fluid the meniscus of your ass cheeks can hold before it gets to your drawers? Just sayin I would have swore I was gonna need to go home and change only to find my underwear were unscathed...

Alpine · 08-17-2010, 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DougLikesBMW

Those hot air farts always worry me..

This.

Quote:

Originally Posted by immiketoo

OK, on a related topic, have you ever noticed the incredible amount of fluid the meniscus of your ass cheeks can hold before it gets to your drawers? Just sayin I would have swore I was gonna need to go home and change only to find my underwear were unscathed...

And This.

ghosthi32 · 08-17-2010, 08:14 PM

lol sam

blueshark · 08-17-2010, 08:35 PM

Sam, you are a sick, sick man!

kaykay · 08-17-2010, 09:36 PM

LOL @ this thread

BTM · 08-17-2010, 09:56 PM

If I have any reason to believe a shart is coming, I will hold in the fart until I am at a toilet. 9 times out of 10 it's just air, but better safe than sorry

Citizen Z · 08-17-2010, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BTM

If I have any reason to believe a shart is coming, I will hold in the fart until I am at a toilet. 9 times out of 10 it's just air, but better safe than sorry

This.

to_riffic · 08-17-2010, 10:21 PM

hahhahahaa, oh man. great thread and way to be honest. props

samwoo2go · 08-17-2010, 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ra2fanatic

hahhahahaa, oh man. great thread and way to be honest. props

I have no secrets. I want to shart well and often.

lopealle · 08-18-2010, 07:20 AM

dude i sharted and it wa awful. i was at friends so you can only iagine how that went....

bolinp78 · 08-18-2010, 08:01 AM

When I 'shart' it's not really a 'shart' because only butt juice comes out.

zaxjax · 08-18-2010, 09:01 AM

Guy at work sharted the other day. We were all sitting around Bs'ing and he reared up to let one go. The look on his face when the wetness hit was priceless. He did the duck walk across the parking lot for about 100 yards and then proceeded for the bathroom. He walks back outside with his underwear in a bag and tosses them into them dumpster.

escobar929 · 08-18-2010, 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by immiketoo

OK, on a related topic, have you ever noticed the incredible amount of fluid the meniscus of your ass cheeks can hold before it gets to your drawers? Just sayin I would have swore I was gonna need to go home and change only to find my underwear were unscathed...

it amazing isnt it? so many times I thought I had serious butt mudd and nothing. Once I was banging this chick and I had to shit so bad, towards the end, I thought there would be a lil chocolate moose but I was good

Quote:

Originally Posted by BTM

If I have any reason to believe a shart is coming, I will hold in the fart until I am at a toilet. 9 times out of 10 it's just air, but better safe than sorry

I have learned that lesson the hard way, I play it safe now too

Quote:

Originally Posted by zaxjax

Guy at work sharted the other day. We were all sitting around Bs'ing and he reared up to let one go. The look on his face when the wetness hit was priceless. He did the duck walk across the parking lot for about 100 yards and then proceeded for the bathroom. He walks back outside with his underwear in a bag and tosses them into them dumpster.

OMG, epic

brocken · 08-18-2010, 09:45 AM

OP - that's NOT a shart! That's a "you shit your pants" moment!
A shart is a little poo that sneaks out with your fart and leaves a skidmark. Anything more and it's a crap.

I thought I sharted while riding my motorcycle once. Had an hour ride home with a feeling like warm poop in my shorts. Got home and my undies were clean... weird.

Feyd · 08-18-2010, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bolinp78

When I 'shart' it's not really a 'shart' because only butt juice comes out.

anal leakage.

Gavin@MMW · 08-18-2010, 02:55 PM

Lol i love seeing a Samwoo post, i almost sharted when I laughed about you sharting.

the China breakfast place was the best one tho...

Muffnbluff · 08-18-2010, 03:04 PM

That doesn't sound like a shart. That straight up sounds like you shit yourself.

DougLikesBMW · 08-18-2010, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Craven 328

Lol i love seeing a Samwoo post, i almost sharted when I laughed about you sharting.

the China breakfast place was the best one tho...

Hmm, I missed that post...anyone want to link it?

View Poll Results: Have you ever sharted (private poll)
I have sharted	46	60.53%
I have never sharted	26	34.21%
I have never sharted but always wanted to try.	4	5.26%
Voters: 76. You may not vote on this poll

08-17-2010, 07:23 PM	#1
samwoo2go Banned 442 Rep 779 Posts Drives: E92 335i Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: SoCal iTrader: (12)	Sharted... I just sharted right now, for the 1st time ever. Not the proudest moment of my life. I had some heavy drinking last night and ate some chili for lunch today. I was sitting in front of the computer and felt an explosive fart coming. You know those that charges up like a jet turbine and explode out of your ass like a air bazooka gun? Ya 1 of those, and I love those, cuz it feels good. So I got my ass all half raised and ready for the launch and fucking BOOM...misfire...misfire...it felt like my ass just barfed. fucking huge amounts of doo doo all over my shorts, balls, thighs, it fucking sucks. I just got done cleaning up, just thought I come on here to let you guys know what my experience was for my first shart. Go vote on the poll, I made it private, so you can vote honestly. How many of you have ever sharted?
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08-17-2010, 07:25 PM	#2
m3pare Banned 530 Rep 43,411 Posts Drives: OBD1 M3. Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: MFEST HQ iTrader: (6)	LOL samwoo2go delivers again
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08-17-2010, 07:30 PM	#3
DougLikesBMW Fapmin 402 Rep 2,660 Posts Drives: '03 E46 330Ci Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Plano, Texas iTrader: (0)	Lol who hasn't sharted? I have a couple times, when I was younger, but nothing as big or disgusting as yours rofl. Had a few other close calls though. Those hot air farts always worry me. Man that is fucking sick, on your balls and thighs, good god.
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08-17-2010, 07:40 PM	#4
Kroy Brigadier General 173 Rep 3,032 Posts Drives: E90 Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Los Angeles, CA iTrader: (1)
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08-17-2010, 08:14 PM	#7
ghosthi32 Banned 39 Rep 2,504 Posts Drives: Water camel Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: strait of hormuz iTrader: (0)	lol sam
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08-17-2010, 08:35 PM	#8
blueshark First Lieutenant 50 Rep 337 Posts Drives: "transportation" for now Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: midwest iTrader: (0)	Sam, you are a sick, sick man!
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08-17-2010, 09:36 PM	#9
kaykay Lieutenant Colonel 90 Rep 1,769 Posts Drives: 2011 E92 M3 ZCP Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: SoCal iTrader: (0) Garage List 2011 E93 328i Conve ... [9.50] 2011 E92 M3 ZCP [8.66] 2008 550i Sport [10.00]	LOL @ this thread __________________ '12 CLS550 Palladium Silver - loaded '11 E92 M3 ZCP - SG/B-EXT/CF, M-DCT, loaded '11 E93 328i, BSM over Saddle Brown, sport, loaded '08 550i M-Sport, Carbon Black (Gone but not forgotten), '06 W211 E55 AMG (Gone, miss this animal),'01 E39 540i Sport
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08-17-2010, 09:56 PM	#10
BTM Banned 483 Rep 10,309 Posts Drives: A///MERICAN!!! Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: A///MERICA!!! iTrader: (11) Garage List 2007 BMW Z4 M Coupe [7.20]	If I have any reason to believe a shart is coming, I will hold in the fart until I am at a toilet. 9 times out of 10 it's just air, but better safe than sorry
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08-17-2010, 10:21 PM	#12
to_riffic Lieutenant General 3024 Rep 13,763 Posts Drives: rwd Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: SoCal iTrader: (38)	hahhahahaa, oh man. great thread and way to be honest. props __________________ ~loud noises~
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08-18-2010, 07:20 AM	#14
lopealle Resident Black Guy 251 Rep 2,302 Posts Drives: Lion Join Date: May 2009 Location: Federal Way, WA iTrader: (2) Garage List 2006 M5 [10.00]	dude i sharted and it wa awful. i was at friends so you can only iagine how that went....
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08-18-2010, 08:01 AM	#15
bolinp78 G35 convertee 69 Rep 1,009 Posts Drives: 2008 335i (AW) Join Date: May 2008 Location: . iTrader: (1)	When I 'shart' it's not really a 'shart' because only butt juice comes out. __________________
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08-18-2010, 09:01 AM	#16
zaxjax Major 43 Rep 1,210 Posts Drives: 2008 Crimson Red 335i Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Annapolis iTrader: (2) Garage List 2008 335i [9.00]	Guy at work sharted the other day. We were all sitting around Bs'ing and he reared up to let one go. The look on his face when the wetness hit was priceless. He did the duck walk across the parking lot for about 100 yards and then proceeded for the bathroom. He walks back outside with his underwear in a bag and tosses them into them dumpster. __________________ Detailed Image
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08-18-2010, 09:45 AM	#18
brocken Captain 34 Rep 616 Posts Drives: X3MC Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Seattle, WA iTrader: (5)	OP - that's NOT a shart! That's a "you shit your pants" moment! A shart is a little poo that sneaks out with your fart and leaves a skidmark. Anything more and it's a crap. I thought I sharted while riding my motorcycle once. Had an hour ride home with a feeling like warm poop in my shorts. Got home and my undies were clean... weird.
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08-18-2010, 02:55 PM	#20
Gavin@MMW Brigadier General 406 Rep 3,879 Posts Drives: MMW Supercharged E90 328i Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 818/805 iTrader: (18)	Lol i love seeing a Samwoo post, i almost sharted when I laughed about you sharting. the China breakfast place was the best one tho...
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08-18-2010, 03:04 PM	#21
Muffnbluff Redline Addict 21 Rep 783 Posts Drives: '14 BMW 335 xdrive Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: STL iTrader: (0)	That doesn't sound like a shart. That straight up sounds like you shit yourself.
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